Yes

I would just like to point out that on my last post I have 15  comments to date.  That is the most comments I have ever seen posted on a blog of someone with my stature.  Now onto the subject that is more important than politics and abortion:

Football

1. I had Georgia winning by 10 today.  Mainly because they seem to have low scoring, close games with Spurrier as the coach of South Carolina.  They won by a touchdown and I don't think they are bad for it, but I don't think they will stay #2.

2. USC is sick nasty and Ohio State is sick to their stomach.  Seriously, you know it is bad when ESPN, who used to change OSU's diapers, is stating the truth and dogging them big time for being exposed repeatedly in big games and not only not being able to win, but just being embarrassed every time.  USC is obviously #1 and if Georgia is #2 then USC should think about playing in the NFL to keep things fair.  OSU can kiss playing in championship games goodbye.

3. Mark May on ESPN is a bad analyst.  Last week when he tried to interrupt Lou Holtz in the middle of a statement Holtz said, "Oh, let's just ask Mark because he obviously knows everything there is to know about football."  Props to Lou for sticking it to the guy and props to Jesus for allowing me to see it.

4. USF keeps pulling these wins out of their butt pads and I honestly respect them now.  It wasn't just a fluke here and there, but they are actually a pretty solid mid-major team.  Grothe has a lot of heart at QB and I hope they keep winning.  

5. Miami coach should stop crying about UF coach Urban Meyer running up the score on him.  The week before when Miami was playing a no name school they were up by 35 points with 6 minutes to go in the 4th quarter and on 4th and 6 at the opponents 20 yard line they went for it.  So trying to play this card of everybody should feel sorry for us and the recruits will come to UM because they can see ALL THE CLASS that the school has compared to UF should really stop.  I believe when you play competitively starting in middle school or at least high school if you don't want the score run up on you then you should play some defense. 

6. I feel bad for UCF.  They always seem to ALMOST get the break they need to win the big games.  It just never pans out.  Their biggest problem now is that their offense struggles big time.  They are going to have problems when East Carolina plays them.

7. FSU... nobody cares.

8. UF had the day off.  They play TN next week and although TN lost to UCLA opening week, this one will be tough.  I have been to this game two times at UT and it is a tough place to play.  UF has ridic talent on offense, but they seem a little out of synch right now.  Big ups for the UF defense who is playing solid against a Hawaii team who spreads it out a lot and against Miami who has some quick players on offense.  I have UF by 17 next week over Tennessee.

Weak

We are less than 3 months away from all of this election drivel coming to an end.  There are many things that are annoying about election season, but this small writing is to focus on something that has crossed my mind the last 4 years especially.

 The "Religious Right" has given Christians the ability to become ignorant in politics.  This whole movement became popular and greatly influenced my thoughts on politics growing up.  Basically their main contention is this:

As a Christian you should not vote for anyone who takes a pro-choice stance on abortion.

Obviously there are many more arguments from this group of people involving politics, but this is their biggest and the one that defines their vote.  

My response will be numbered:

1.  This reasoning allows for incredible laziness.  That basically tells people, "don't worry about any issue besides one.  If the candidate supports pro-choice, then don't vote for them.  It doesn't matter what the other person's stances are on every other subject, if they are against abortion then you should vote for them."

2. Roe vs. Wade happened in 1973.  That is ten years before I was born.  How long are we going to put all of our chips in that hand?

3. Every conservative candidate that has been on the ticket for the Republicans since Roe vs. Wade has been in favor of allowing abortions in certain circumstances (mainly if the life of the mother is in danger).  If I were in a debate and I had the Repubs declaring that it was murder to abort a baby I would easily argue that there is no way they can allow for abortions in certain circumstances because that would still be murder.  But you don't hear pastors that bash pro-choice say anything about that.  It wouldn't be good for their argument.

4. The last poll on Pres. George W. showed that only 64% of Republicans favored his leadership.  That is incredibly low for your own side.  But even now if it were George W. vs. Obama or anybody for that matter the Relig Right would still tell you to vote for W. even though you know how terrible of a job he has done.  No matter how much money he wants to waste on sending our troops to die for a meaningless cause... abortion would still be more important.  No matter how shady and secretive his administration has been... the only thing that would matter would be his stance on abortion and you would still be told to vote for him.  That is stupid.

5.  This is probably my last point on this.  All of this nonsense assumes that God would be surprised if a Democrat won the election... and if that person did then God couldn't carry out His plans for the country or whatever you believe in that matter.  Do you really think that religion plays that big of a role in politics?  Maybe the church should be under more persecution in this country so we actually have something to fight for.  Maybe we should not be allowed to go to church anymore or read our bibles.  Maybe then we could actually care about carrying out the plans of Jesus and not think that it all depends on who is in the White House.  Maybe we should take more responsibility in our homes and fess up that our families are a mess because of us and not because of Washington.  

Nobody wants to take responsibility for anything and that is what is frustrating.  We minimize this election to abortion and stupid commercials.  McCain is running ads that compare Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and we laugh even though we know that is weak and stupid.  Obama runs a strong and positive campaign and it is hard for us to find things wrong with him.  He has integrity, he respects his opponents and he speaks as well or better than Ronald Reagan.  So we go back to the abortion issue.  

Weak.

Reasons Why The Olympics Are Amazing

1.  At no other point in 4 years would I call my friends at 11pm knowing that they would be awake and we could scream and giggle like little girls over a swimming race that we just watched.

2. I love volleyball.  Specifically...guys indoor volleyball.  This is the only time that I can watch guys volleyball at 3am by myself and nobody thinks I'm a fag.

3. I wake up exhausted every single day.  Yet I feel amazing because I'm an American.

4. My eyes are opened to new amazing things like handball.  Then I dream that I will begin the American Olympic team for that sport.

5. I still don't understand what is so great about watching the 100m sprint.  But it is so great.

6. Shawn Johnson

Camp

3 days ago I was white water rafting with some friends and a guide named "Trashcan" in Tennessee.  A couple days before that I conquered a huge fear of mine and went down an 80 foot water slide.

2 months ago my former youth pastor asked if I could lead worship at his church's youth camp.  I could bring anybody that I wanted to play in a band with me.  The camp speaker that week was a guy who was my counselor my first ever camp the summer before I started 6th grade.  The schedule at last weeks camp was almost identical to the camp schedule I knew growing up and going to every year until I graduated high school.

I don't think anybody really knew how much I needed a break from my job as a server at a restaurant and just to get away from orlando for a short time.  I was feeling as though I was almost useless in my friendships and relationships with people because I was always so fatigued and just unhappy many times due to schedules and not being able to see my wife as much as I have wanted to.  I just needed a breath of fresh air.

There are many great things about camp.  Rafting, cabins, music, cafeteria food, crazy kids.  I used to go to camp to experience some super high emotion and I would relate it to my relationship with Jesus.  If I didn't experience that then camp wasn't as good as the previous year.  I'm a bit older now and a little wiser, but sometimes I don't allow my heart to be open at all to experiences of any kind.  For this trip I just wanted to experience something....anything really.  I needed to feel an emotion of any kind and not just continue in the mundane way of life I was growing accustomed to.

As I look back on this last week many things stick out in my mind, but the one that is overwhelming is the thankfulness of real friends.  The group of people that traveled with me to TN was made up of people that I think everybody should at least meet once in their lives.  I laughed more with these people this week than I have since we found out a year ago that my mom had cancer.  I know a lot of people may not think of laughing as super spiritual, but I can tell you that the laughter of last week healed my soul in ways that I cannot express and in ways that nothing else has been able to do.  We would sit around in the cabin and play nerdy games like scrabble (which I love and am amazing at) and chess (which I don't understand) and checkers as well.  We would just sit and watch youtube videos or just sit around and relax and talk with each other.  We had a car packed full of people for a 9 hour drive and although at some points I thought there might be a murder about to take place... we laughed so hard... and it was so good.

We get to split a check 7 ways for leading worship all week at the camp, which isn't a whole lot of money after the split, but it is still nice to get paid for having a blast all week.  Yet I feel like even if I could give every person that went with me $1,000 that wouldn't be enough for me to thank them.  

I am a quiet guy a lot of times and I internalize so much and people have no idea what is going on or how to help or anything... and mostly I like it that way.  But Jesus has a way of knowing everything and he knew that more than needing to feel some spiritual high or anything of that sort that I needed to laugh and I needed to laugh hard.  Thank you to everybody that lived with me in a cabin last week.  It reminded me of how lucky and blessed I am to know all of those people and that they would take a week to come with me to the middle of nowhere.  Some were family, some were friends that are like family, and some weren't even close to either of those statements... but the reality is that they were all like Jesus sitting around laughing with me last week and in an subtle way reminding me that Jesus laughed and He cried and understands because He once was here.  

You never hear in the bible about Jesus laughing because it was probably of little importance to the writers, but I often wonder what the sound of his laugh was like.  If he wept then I'm pretty sure he had a great laugh.

We live in a moment called "now"

On Friday after a long day of work my mom talked to Brittany and I over the phone and gave us these words:

"They say if I live for another year it would be a miracle."

I held close to my new wife as she cried and as I thought. I thought about a lot of things in that moment. Mostly they came back to a constant thought of "wow, this is crazy."

My mom cried and I felt her pain. She apologized a number of times, though nothing was she at fault for. She never smoked, had a few glasses of champagne, never did drugs, and always was in good physical shape...and yet here she was...apologizing.

I took the phone as Brittany cried and I listened to my mom talk about how she wanted to do so many things before this all happened. She told me how she had to walk out of a restaurant because the sight of elderly people and babies and happy families was a little too much to deal with after just hearing the doctors prediction.

There are probably many reasons that I did not cry in that moment...not one of them being that I'm a cold hearted bastard. I just didn't cry. It could be that I had expected this to happen for some time. It could be that I was in too much shock to understand the weight of it all. Maybe it was that I felt that it wasn't the right time for me to cry with my mom, but to be gentle and comforting without sounding like a slobbering baby.

If you ever want advice from me you cannot get it if you just tell me the situation in 5 minutes and it be a serious one and then ask me what you should do. 1. I don't know 2. If I say anything I want it to be somewhat intelligent and thought out so that if you take my advice to heart it doesn't lead you into a bad place.

But this time I did not need much time to think about what kind of advice to give my mom. I mean, I can't really heal her and I can't tell her how to heal herself. I had one thought as soon as she told me what the doctor said and that one thought still lingers in my mind and has been reaffirmed by others I believe. This one thought may be why I didn't cry...

"You are alive just the same as the rest of us."

Please don't get me wrong and think that I am saying that I believe that God will heal my mom and that the cancer will go away and that she will be totally fine. Because I don't believe that. Not that I don't believe that God can do that, I'm just not putting my eggs in that basket. What if I'm not supposed to pray for my mom's healing. I mean that IS what I want, but in the garden Jesus didn't get what he wanted. He confessed what it was, but his prayer ultimately was "God do whatever you want". I will easily have Jesus tell God on my behalf that I would love for my mom's cancer to go away...but it is a little easier in some way to just tell God to do His thing in the end. It greatly reduces the disappointment when I don't get my way and I think it's because I didn't pray hard enough or I didn't have enough faith.

Anyways....back to my mom and to the rest of us....we are alive. And we are all going to die. I can't escape it any more than my mom can. Just because a doctor tells my mom she will live another year if she is lucky does not guarantee that I will live another year. You see what I'm saying here? If we focus totally on the future whatever it may be...good or bad...marriage or death...then what the hell is going on right now?

The truth is that the doctor doesn't know the future any more than I do. Again not saying my mom's cancer will be healed if we all pray hard enough...I'm just saying that we live in this moment. A very very bad preacher I heard in high school once said something very very good. He said, "We live in a moment called "now"". And that is the truth. All that you and I have is to build off of the past, not to linger on it...to hope in the future, not to linger on it...and to live right now in this moment that we are a part of.

How much time do we waste wrapping our lives up in this idea that we aren't exactly where we are supposed to be and once we get there God can really use us or once we get there we will be happy or once we get there (fill in your own blank). I would say we probably are in our lives where we are for some reason and God can probably use any of us in any situation, not matter how dull or mundane or normal our lives are. All I have is now. All my mom has is now. She can choose to live now or spend her time now thinking about tomorrow. I can choose to live now or to spend my time thinking about tomorrow.

The problem with tomorrow is that it rarely comes.

Thinking

So I have been living on my own for a couple of months now. This means that when I am home I don't have to worry about 5 other people and 2 dogs. I don't have cable or even regular channel television and for the first time in a while I am able to relax and think. I am able to process life and my relation to it. And it has been so good.

I am able to sit and in the quietness allow my mind to think and not be distracted by much of anything. My mind usually thinks of three things I have noticed.

1. People

2. Music

3. Jesus

I have plenty of time after getting off work late to wind down and dwell on the beauty of the people that I am blessed to know and also I have time to think about how much I dislike certain people...but graciously God allows me to realize that there are a lot more people that I love.

I dwell on the beauty of getting married in two weeks. My appreciation has grown for Brittany as I am surrounded by the truth of love and the depth of our relationship as I sit and think. I can think of all the things wrong with me and how people can have very valid reasons that they don't like me and Brittany knows all of these things and in them loves me in a way that only Jesus can facilitate.

I think of the greatness of the friendships that I share with people who I understand are so much more valuable than the average person could see. I have this gift of being able to see things about people that I feel like Jesus sees and many miss. I think about those things in my friends and how God uses their gifts to reach into my life and show me His heart. And I am amazed and blessed to know these people and even more so be able to call them friends.

I understand the value of a family that actually loves me deeply...and I think.

Music has this way of reaching into your heart and soul like nothing else. It affects me greatly and for some reason I am allowed to have some musical ability. I listen and I watch youtube videos of performances and I smile because it soothes. I have time to write and to work on songs that come from my heart and I don't have to worry about waking up the family. I can sit and worship like I need to alone and with a free mind.

I have tried to run away from music since I fell in love with it as a child and for the first time I am allowing myself to completely embrace it and go with it and it is impacting my life in ways that are hard to describe. I dream of ways that my music can comfort others. I wonder what could happen if I continue to embrace this gift that Jesus has given me. Not that I wonder about becoming famous or being well known. I wonder could my songs impact others to where they smile or cry or worship at the end of a day...I wonder.

And in the process of all of these thoughts Jesus is continually there and He becomes more clear when I sit and just think about this thing called life. I have always said that Jesus is involved with all aspects of our life, but lately I seem to be believing it much more. I look at everything and all I can think of is how He is consistently loving me through these people and these things.

Sometimes it is so hard to let all of these thoughts wind down and go to sleep. I love thinking.

Forgetting I'd Heard It Before

After one of those nights were everything sucks and you feel emotionally drained due to the weight of everything I couldn't get this song out of my head that I am helping a friend write. It is based out of Romans 8. I have read Romans 8 many times throughout my life I am sure. I have heard the scriptures in Romans 8 probably A MILLION times. So I went and looked up the verses the song is based off of in the message translation and tried to read them as if I had never heard them before...as if this was the first time I had ever seen these words:

26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

29-30God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

31-39So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

After I read that I cried.

Don't worry, you don't have to.