I can remember growing up that on the first day of school every year my mom would wake me up singing a line, "Up in morning and off to school.... Teachers are teaching the golden rule...." From Kindergarten through my senior year of high school she woke me up like that. So annoying.
Tonight was my first day of school in a couple of years. I am taking two courses this semester. One is an online course, Professional Writing. The other is once a week on Thursday nights and it is Criminal Justice Systems. I have to take some upper elective courses and so these two interested me more than anthropology and other things similar.
The campus has changed so much in just two years. As I waited outside of the classroom a friend of mine who is younger than me saw me and we talked for a couple of minutes. He is in his last semester. I am not.
My class is an upper level elective class so most of the people aren't that much younger than me, but still some of them looked like they were in middle school.
Most of all sitting in class reminded me of the time when I was in class the most a few years back. It reminded me of the days when I only worked 15-20 hours a week and spent most of the time in between classes hanging out with my roommates.
Late nights. Good friends. Some not so smart decisions. And some great ones.
I believe that I do a pretty decent job of "living in the moment" and not taking for granted what is happening right now. I wouldn't say that my first few years of college were the best years of my life, but they sure were a lot of fun. I would take being married to Brittany over living with the guys any day, but I will always look back on those couple of years with the guys as being some of the best moments of all time.
So I raise a toast to my old roommates and the fact that I don't ever have to deal with living with them agian.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Pretty Dumb
Plaxico Burress:
Takes a gun into a nightclub and accidentally shoots himself in the leg 2mm away from his femoral. 2mm away from killing himself.
He gets two years in jail.
Michael Vick:
Runs a pretty sick (not in a good way) dog fighting ring. Tortures and kills animals.
He gets 23 months in jail.
Dante Stallworth:
Runs a man over with his car. In his statement to the police he said he honked the horn and flicked the lights at the man. Apparently he had time to do that, but not to slow down. He has enough money to get a cab to take him home.
He gets 30 days in jail.
Pretty dumb.
Takes a gun into a nightclub and accidentally shoots himself in the leg 2mm away from his femoral. 2mm away from killing himself.
He gets two years in jail.
Michael Vick:
Runs a pretty sick (not in a good way) dog fighting ring. Tortures and kills animals.
He gets 23 months in jail.
Dante Stallworth:
Runs a man over with his car. In his statement to the police he said he honked the horn and flicked the lights at the man. Apparently he had time to do that, but not to slow down. He has enough money to get a cab to take him home.
He gets 30 days in jail.
Pretty dumb.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Depth
Brittany and I did something today that we never done before together.
We went to a church where we didn't know anybody.
I wasn't filling in for anyone doing music. My wife and I decided to go to church out of curiosity. We had both worked about 11-12 hours the day before and were extremely tired. But we set the alarm and got out of bed in the morning because we felt like it would be a good thing. It is a rare time when both of us have sunday mornings off and we visited a place knowing that we wouldn't see anybody that we knew.
My desire was that we would learn something. That someone would teach something from the bible that would give us a bit of a deeper insight into what God is like. You might be surprised to know that I really don't care a whole lot about what the music sounds like when I attend a church that I am not familiar with. Seriously, I don't really care. I once visited a church where the person leading the music prayed something like, "These are just notes, but you are God and we want you to speak to our hearts today" sort of conceding to the fact that he knew that the music about to be played wouldn't be a wonderful sound. I remember that it wasn't, but that it seemed so sincere that I wasn't as concerned with the bass player missing half the notes as I usually was.
I long for depth more than anything else.
And honesty I guess.
So we arrived to find out that the pastor and regular person that leads the music were on a mission trip and there was a family who was in charge of all aspects of the service.
On the drive to church I prayed to myself simply hoping that I wouldn't be so cynical this time. I was genuinely wanting to attend church and longing for something real and not an experience or entertainment. I have entertained churches and christians so many times with my music and unfortunately I have manipulated people's emotions on more than one occasion so that they would leave feeling something that I knew wouldn't last more than 6 hours. I really didn't want to be a part of that, but this time as an observer. I came with an open heart and mind wanting to learn.
After about 30 minutes into the service I found myself wondering how much more of this I had to sit through. And that saddened me in a way that I cannot explain. I mean, really really made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to have those feelings. It had been so long since I had just gone to church to go and for no other reason.
The sermon/message/talk...whatever is popular to call it these days was a very good attempt to make people "feel good". The main subject of the 45 minutes of one man speaking was pain and how to deal with it.
It makes me sad to say that I am so angry as I think about it now and type this out. I don't want to be "that guy".
I am trying to figure out exactly how to explain the situation without sounding like I am trying to bash the man that was preaching/teaching/speaking...
I felt like I was in some type of self-help Tony Robbins course that was occasionally laced with bits of biblical reference. The subject was pain and I have known quite a bit over the last two years. This should have impacted me greatly and helped me move on because "...pain is the fuel for our souls!"
Instead I felt so cheated...
I could write so much more. I just deleted a bunch of stuff because it wasn't worthwhile to what I am really trying to say.
What I am trying to get across is that in my heart I am not too concerned with emotions at church. How the music makes me feel or how the person talking wants me to feel is not really that important. What I long for is to learn more about God. It doesn't have to be from a professor at a seminary. I am just asking that it isn't from the school of Tony Robbins. No matter how good intentioned a man may be in his preparation of a 45 minute speech at a church, it comes across as shallow to me when the bible is just a bit of support to the message they are trying to get across.
The message that was taught today was very helpful for a lot of the people it seemed. Many there seemed to really enjoy it.
That bothered me even more.
What I needed in the midst of pain that is still very real to me was insight into the character of God. I needed content, not emotion. I needed Jesus, not formulas.
This was a quote that I wrote down that was displayed on the screen for us to see/write down:
"Shadows are not as big as they seem."
Thanks.
I didn't need a scholar. I could have used someone simply putting this verse on the screen and talking about it and the situation surrounding it for about 10 minutes at least.
"Jesus wept."
I long for more than dribble. I know that sounds so pious and snoody of me. I honestly don't want to come across as that way. I really just want to learn more about Jesus.
Being away for so long has brought that desire into my heart.
We went to a church where we didn't know anybody.
I wasn't filling in for anyone doing music. My wife and I decided to go to church out of curiosity. We had both worked about 11-12 hours the day before and were extremely tired. But we set the alarm and got out of bed in the morning because we felt like it would be a good thing. It is a rare time when both of us have sunday mornings off and we visited a place knowing that we wouldn't see anybody that we knew.
My desire was that we would learn something. That someone would teach something from the bible that would give us a bit of a deeper insight into what God is like. You might be surprised to know that I really don't care a whole lot about what the music sounds like when I attend a church that I am not familiar with. Seriously, I don't really care. I once visited a church where the person leading the music prayed something like, "These are just notes, but you are God and we want you to speak to our hearts today" sort of conceding to the fact that he knew that the music about to be played wouldn't be a wonderful sound. I remember that it wasn't, but that it seemed so sincere that I wasn't as concerned with the bass player missing half the notes as I usually was.
I long for depth more than anything else.
And honesty I guess.
So we arrived to find out that the pastor and regular person that leads the music were on a mission trip and there was a family who was in charge of all aspects of the service.
On the drive to church I prayed to myself simply hoping that I wouldn't be so cynical this time. I was genuinely wanting to attend church and longing for something real and not an experience or entertainment. I have entertained churches and christians so many times with my music and unfortunately I have manipulated people's emotions on more than one occasion so that they would leave feeling something that I knew wouldn't last more than 6 hours. I really didn't want to be a part of that, but this time as an observer. I came with an open heart and mind wanting to learn.
After about 30 minutes into the service I found myself wondering how much more of this I had to sit through. And that saddened me in a way that I cannot explain. I mean, really really made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to have those feelings. It had been so long since I had just gone to church to go and for no other reason.
The sermon/message/talk...whatever is popular to call it these days was a very good attempt to make people "feel good". The main subject of the 45 minutes of one man speaking was pain and how to deal with it.
It makes me sad to say that I am so angry as I think about it now and type this out. I don't want to be "that guy".
I am trying to figure out exactly how to explain the situation without sounding like I am trying to bash the man that was preaching/teaching/speaking...
I felt like I was in some type of self-help Tony Robbins course that was occasionally laced with bits of biblical reference. The subject was pain and I have known quite a bit over the last two years. This should have impacted me greatly and helped me move on because "...pain is the fuel for our souls!"
Instead I felt so cheated...
I could write so much more. I just deleted a bunch of stuff because it wasn't worthwhile to what I am really trying to say.
What I am trying to get across is that in my heart I am not too concerned with emotions at church. How the music makes me feel or how the person talking wants me to feel is not really that important. What I long for is to learn more about God. It doesn't have to be from a professor at a seminary. I am just asking that it isn't from the school of Tony Robbins. No matter how good intentioned a man may be in his preparation of a 45 minute speech at a church, it comes across as shallow to me when the bible is just a bit of support to the message they are trying to get across.
The message that was taught today was very helpful for a lot of the people it seemed. Many there seemed to really enjoy it.
That bothered me even more.
What I needed in the midst of pain that is still very real to me was insight into the character of God. I needed content, not emotion. I needed Jesus, not formulas.
This was a quote that I wrote down that was displayed on the screen for us to see/write down:
"Shadows are not as big as they seem."
Thanks.
I didn't need a scholar. I could have used someone simply putting this verse on the screen and talking about it and the situation surrounding it for about 10 minutes at least.
"Jesus wept."
I long for more than dribble. I know that sounds so pious and snoody of me. I honestly don't want to come across as that way. I really just want to learn more about Jesus.
Being away for so long has brought that desire into my heart.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Reaching For More
Next month I will celebrate my 26th birthday.
I have been reevaluating a lot of things in my life lately.
I have been coming to the conclusion that there are certain things that I MUST do before I die. Dreams that I have had since I was a teenager that I have a deep sense that I need to fulfill.
One might refer to these things as a bucket list. If you watched the movie "The Bucket List" you understand that most of the incredible things the two gentlemen did were in the last year of their lives. That is all well and good, but I would like to incorporate my list into my entire life.
I believe that things are so much more attainable than we are willing to believe. When I think about these 25 years that have been my life I realize that I have pursued in a responsible, yet sometimes reckless enough manner to achieve some incredible things that I never thought possible.
I have worked in an orphanage in Africa.
I have hiked a glacier in Alaska.
I own season tickets to the Florida Gators football games. 50 yard line. 39 rows up. In the shade.
I recorded an album and made money from it. And I actually liked my album even though I usually hate listening to myself.
I was the keynote speaker at a week long camp in Philadelphia. The goal of the camp was that over 300 high school students from different parts of the US would come and be a part of rebuilding and renovating homes in a poor area of the city. At night all of the students and adults would listen to what I had to say. The crazy thing was that a lot of the people acted like they couldn't wait for me to speak the next evening.
I am a waiter at a restaurant. I kind of hate it, but I always thought that I would be good at it and I have had the chance to accomplish that.
I married someone that is cool and that is hot.
I have built a snowman.
I once had a conversation in American Sign Language with a stranger as a result of me taking classes for it.
I write these things out because I believe that I could look at my life and think of how boring it is. I could sit around and feel stuck in my job and that I am not useful. But the truth is that our waves do come. They just don't come every single day or every month. It has taken many years for these dreams to become a reality, but they have become just that.
I understand that we all grow a little hardened and calloused as we get older, but I don't want to be the person that is miserable as a result of that.
I don't want to let go of my dreams just because I haven't reached another one in the last year or two.
One of my goals since I was a kid was that I always wanted to go to Hawaii. The older I got I realized how expensive that would be and that I wasn't sure how I could do that and not feel like I had just wasted a ton of money on myself.
Now I work for Hyatt Hotels. It isn't an amazing job and a lot of times it makes me into a person that I don't want to become, but there are things about it that are pretty awesome. So next August I have booked for my wife and I free rooms at 3 different Hyatt Resorts on 3 different islands in Hawaii.
The rooms are $400 a night to the average joe. For us they will cost nothing. I don't feel that bad about it either. I work all the time and very hard so that my wife and I are at peace with our finances and also so that we are able to be married. She does the same and more. So for a reward for barely seeing each other for the first 2 and a half years of our marriage we are going to spend 2 and a half weeks in one of the most beautiful places that I could imagine going and we are going to be able to do that saving quite a bit of money.
It is funny how dreams become a reality. I kind of hate my job. But the rewards can be outstanding.
What dreams do you have that you have given up on?
What is there deep within your sould that you feel that you MUST do?
I feel like we could reach for more if wanted to. Maybe we are afraid of failure or things similar, but I think if we looked at the things that we have already accomplished we will realized that our dreams aren't that far from being a reality. The fun part is that most of the time we have no idea how things worked out in our favor. We just knew we had to do something and it got done.
Hold on to those dreams. We live once. I am 26. I will contine to grow older until I stop breathing. I feel pretty satisfied out how my life has turned out so far and the amount of things that I have been able to accomplish. But I don't want to stop there.
There is so much out there and there is so much within us.
What if we just believed that we could do some incredible things and then focused on them when they actually happen?
I have been reevaluating a lot of things in my life lately.
I have been coming to the conclusion that there are certain things that I MUST do before I die. Dreams that I have had since I was a teenager that I have a deep sense that I need to fulfill.
One might refer to these things as a bucket list. If you watched the movie "The Bucket List" you understand that most of the incredible things the two gentlemen did were in the last year of their lives. That is all well and good, but I would like to incorporate my list into my entire life.
I believe that things are so much more attainable than we are willing to believe. When I think about these 25 years that have been my life I realize that I have pursued in a responsible, yet sometimes reckless enough manner to achieve some incredible things that I never thought possible.
I have worked in an orphanage in Africa.
I have hiked a glacier in Alaska.
I own season tickets to the Florida Gators football games. 50 yard line. 39 rows up. In the shade.
I recorded an album and made money from it. And I actually liked my album even though I usually hate listening to myself.
I was the keynote speaker at a week long camp in Philadelphia. The goal of the camp was that over 300 high school students from different parts of the US would come and be a part of rebuilding and renovating homes in a poor area of the city. At night all of the students and adults would listen to what I had to say. The crazy thing was that a lot of the people acted like they couldn't wait for me to speak the next evening.
I am a waiter at a restaurant. I kind of hate it, but I always thought that I would be good at it and I have had the chance to accomplish that.
I married someone that is cool and that is hot.
I have built a snowman.
I once had a conversation in American Sign Language with a stranger as a result of me taking classes for it.
I write these things out because I believe that I could look at my life and think of how boring it is. I could sit around and feel stuck in my job and that I am not useful. But the truth is that our waves do come. They just don't come every single day or every month. It has taken many years for these dreams to become a reality, but they have become just that.
I understand that we all grow a little hardened and calloused as we get older, but I don't want to be the person that is miserable as a result of that.
I don't want to let go of my dreams just because I haven't reached another one in the last year or two.
One of my goals since I was a kid was that I always wanted to go to Hawaii. The older I got I realized how expensive that would be and that I wasn't sure how I could do that and not feel like I had just wasted a ton of money on myself.
Now I work for Hyatt Hotels. It isn't an amazing job and a lot of times it makes me into a person that I don't want to become, but there are things about it that are pretty awesome. So next August I have booked for my wife and I free rooms at 3 different Hyatt Resorts on 3 different islands in Hawaii.
The rooms are $400 a night to the average joe. For us they will cost nothing. I don't feel that bad about it either. I work all the time and very hard so that my wife and I are at peace with our finances and also so that we are able to be married. She does the same and more. So for a reward for barely seeing each other for the first 2 and a half years of our marriage we are going to spend 2 and a half weeks in one of the most beautiful places that I could imagine going and we are going to be able to do that saving quite a bit of money.
It is funny how dreams become a reality. I kind of hate my job. But the rewards can be outstanding.
What dreams do you have that you have given up on?
What is there deep within your sould that you feel that you MUST do?
I feel like we could reach for more if wanted to. Maybe we are afraid of failure or things similar, but I think if we looked at the things that we have already accomplished we will realized that our dreams aren't that far from being a reality. The fun part is that most of the time we have no idea how things worked out in our favor. We just knew we had to do something and it got done.
Hold on to those dreams. We live once. I am 26. I will contine to grow older until I stop breathing. I feel pretty satisfied out how my life has turned out so far and the amount of things that I have been able to accomplish. But I don't want to stop there.
There is so much out there and there is so much within us.
What if we just believed that we could do some incredible things and then focused on them when they actually happen?
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