A Year

On this very hour a year ago today Brittany and I were getting ready to begin the wedding rehearsal. I can remember how much I was not looking forward to that. The rehearsal is always the worst part weddings that I have been a part of. It is necessary and very helpful, but towards the end everyone gets antsy and I am always hungry and I start to become annoyed with the one or two people who decide that they should give their input every 30 seconds even though nobody cares and most of what they say is stupid.

But it was over before we knew it and we were at Kobe Steakhouse enjoying the time with our friends and family.

Tomorrow marks 1 year since Brittany and I have been married. A couple people at work told me, "congratulations man!" and I knew that it was a sincere gesture, but nonetheless it felt a little weird. Mainly because to me anniversaries are more of a reflection time than anything else. Brittany and I have been dating and now married for a total of over 4 years and I have never felt like we deserved congrats for it. Maybe if we live to be very old it will be different and I will feel a sense of accomplishment for making it through the "bad times" as well as the "good"... whatever that means.

We will celebrate. Don't get me wrong. Our marriage is a BIG deal to me and our plans for tomorrow evening our a secret so I can't spill the beans to you. But our marriage is more of a big deal to me than our anniversary. I am just as content spending time with Brittany watching "American Idol" or "24" as anything else. Going out and celebrating is fun, but staying home and doing nothing occasionally is just as much a celebration of the fact that we not only can stand each other, but we actually like spending time together without bells and whistles.

A few things I have learned or come to a better understanding of include the following:

1. Our time together is precious and we do not care who understands that or who doesn't. We spend usually one evening together a week with each other with no work or school involved. We don't have the type of schedules that allow for anything more. We like to spend that one evening alone away from everyone else because it is only a once a week possibility. We made our family rounds on the holidays, but on Christmas Day we hung out only with each other. Our vacation time is used to spend an entire week with one another apart from anyone. We had a week off in March together and it felt like an incredibly long vacation since we hardly see each other. Some people or family members might not understand why. But they don't have to and I have learned that we are okay with that.

2. Brittany works harder than anyone I know. Since we have been married she has started her graduate program and I know that it puts an enormous amount of pressure on her. She has started her speech therapy sessions with clients this semester, has group presentations, projects, exams, papers every single week. She works full time on her feet waiting on tables. She is respected at work as a dependable person that works hard. And that job sucks. I know, I work there too. Brittany finds time somewhere in between to do things like the laundry, clean the apartment, go grocery shopping and also be a loving wife. In this last year there has not been one single time where she has ever said or done anything to make me feel like less of a person because I don't have the type of job that can allow her to just focus on school and not worry about also putting 30-40 hours of work in at a crappy job. She just keeps on working and keeps on loving me.

3. I am completely content with my marriage. We are similar in some aspects of our personality, but very different in others. And the differences make for good company. I have not seen anything in any other person that I wish Brittany had. I did not settle for anything getting married, but rather was blessed with somebody that exceeded any expectations I put on my future wife growing up.

4. I am clumsier than I used to be. I am not sure if this has anything to do with marriage or just a part of getting older. I am only 25 so I'm not saying I'm old, but I keep running into shit and spilling things like I never used to.

My advice for people that are not yet married is that things don't really change a whole lot. The fingerprint that makes up your relationship is just magnified under marriage and put in your face. Thankfully we have always had a very healthy friendship and relationship and this past year has reminded me of that day after day.