Today is the day after Christmas and it also marks exactly 8 months since Brittany and I were married.
I have a theory that time goes by faster as you get older because: When you are 5 years old 1 year is 20% of your life. When you are 25 years old 1 year is only 4% of your life. And the older you get 1 year is much less of your life than it was when you started.
Anyways, Brittany and I have been working at the Hyatt Regency Hotel for over a year now. Between school schedules and also me working at churches we rarely have had days off together since our honeymoon in April. I mean, literally we have probably had about 9 days off together since then and that is only at the Hyatt. Usually if I get a Thursday off she is at school for half the day and then studying in the evening. You see what I am getting at. We don't have normal weekends. We aren't guaranteed a day to relax together every week. Our time is precious.
Not long after becoming husband and wife we understood that certain boundaries would have to be made in relation to the time spent with our families on holidays and all that jazz. For instance we worked on Thanksgiving and were expecting to possibly have to work on Christmas day. But we did tell our immediate family members that on Christmas day we would not be seeing them and in fact our phones would be turned off.
Please understand that we have and still are spending the rest of this week making sure that everyone gets quality time spent with us to celebrate Christmas. And by celebrating I don't mean exchanging gifts, but just being together for even just an hour or so.
So this Christmas we slept in until around 10am. It felt great. No alarms. No people. Just each other. We woke up and went straight to the 4 foot Christmas tree and exchanged presents. We each got three for each other. We did quite well with the gifts I might add.
We made cinnamon rolls w/ icing for breakfast and we went back to bed and watched It's A Wonderful Life.
After that we got cleaned up and went to the movies to use some gift cards that we had received. After some discussion on what we should see we easily agreed on "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey. The movie theater is PACKED on Christmas day! The movie was pretty good and free.
When we left there we were hungry, but realized that nothing American would be open. So we headed towards Xing Xing, the sushi/japanese/chinese/ place a block away from our apt. I knew it would be open due to the fact that at the end of "A Christmas Story" the only place open for a meal was the Jap place....fa ra ra ra ra.....
We noticed Blockbuster and also The Pit sports grill was open. We went to the Pit and met some nice people, had a couple beers and watched the third quarter of the Lakers vs. Celtics. We stopped in and rented a couple of movies and headed home.
Ended the evening watching Hancock.
This is more a posting for me to jot down what happened today and soak it all in one more time before we wake up tomorrow and turn our phones back on and head back to work.
We decided to spend Christmas together by ourselves not because we don't like our families, but because we like each other more and needed to. Most Christmases I drive around all day stopping in here and there to make sure I have hit all the houses I need to so that nobody's feelings are hurt. I usually find myself feeling incredibly lonely and tired at the end of those days.
Not today.
It was the best Christmas I have had in many years and I feel satisfied that this was the best way I could have spent my first Christmas with my wife.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Things I Miss
The other day at work I was having a conversation with a friend about how there are certain things that we miss. Feelings that we will never have memories of, but that we will never experience again. Not that other situations or experiences are not as good as the previous, but there are just certain things that you miss. Maybe you can name a few. Here are some of mine.
Christmas morning as a child. Walking down the stairs in the morning to what seemed like an overwhelming amount of presents around the Christmas tree for everyone. There is nothing that will ever be like that. I suppose that one day having a child and seeing that look of amazement in their eyes will be as close to that as I will ever get again.
Playing sports for school. There is nothing like trying out for a basketball team with 80 guys trying out and being one of 11 making the team. There is nothing like the bond of 11 guys who work together and who would never all choose to hang out together, but are now like family. Wins, losses, practice, and parties with those guys for a few months every year taught me lessons that nothing else could have done quite the same.
Racing the bus driver. In middle school those of us at our bus stop would walk to the previous bus stop and wait for the bus to get there. Once it put the red flashing lights on we would take off and sprint back to our bus stop hoping to make it before the bus did. I think back and realize the driver probably would have never left us and probably thought we were stupid kids for doing this. It was only a block away between stops, but the adrenaline rush it was just about every morning for 3 years was incredible. Nothing can ever match that.
Anyways, there are moments in life that are significant, semi-important, or very ridiculous that happen and we will never experience anything like them again. I am pretty happy with the memories that I am making these days, it is just entertaining to look back and think about things that were a big part of my life that are totally unique in their own way.
Christmas morning as a child. Walking down the stairs in the morning to what seemed like an overwhelming amount of presents around the Christmas tree for everyone. There is nothing that will ever be like that. I suppose that one day having a child and seeing that look of amazement in their eyes will be as close to that as I will ever get again.
Playing sports for school. There is nothing like trying out for a basketball team with 80 guys trying out and being one of 11 making the team. There is nothing like the bond of 11 guys who work together and who would never all choose to hang out together, but are now like family. Wins, losses, practice, and parties with those guys for a few months every year taught me lessons that nothing else could have done quite the same.
Racing the bus driver. In middle school those of us at our bus stop would walk to the previous bus stop and wait for the bus to get there. Once it put the red flashing lights on we would take off and sprint back to our bus stop hoping to make it before the bus did. I think back and realize the driver probably would have never left us and probably thought we were stupid kids for doing this. It was only a block away between stops, but the adrenaline rush it was just about every morning for 3 years was incredible. Nothing can ever match that.
Anyways, there are moments in life that are significant, semi-important, or very ridiculous that happen and we will never experience anything like them again. I am pretty happy with the memories that I am making these days, it is just entertaining to look back and think about things that were a big part of my life that are totally unique in their own way.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Break Time
I have decided to take a break from God.
Ok, not really, but I was taught you needed an opening line that would spark interest and draw the reader in to continue to read.
You might not want to read, but if you have gotten this far you probably will and therefore I must continue this post. *having nothing to do with this i am currently watching Survivor Man and he is in 44 degree weather in the dark and starving. He just said, "I didn't sign up for this." But I think he did.*
Anyways, back to my original sentence. I am taking a break from church for a while. Please don't get me wrong.... this is NOT a "The church is so messed up and has ruined my brain and I hate it" kind of thing. This also is NOT "People at church piss me off and judge me and I am sick of it" sort of post either.
This IS what this is:
I have been attending church since I was a fetus. I can't remember that far back, but I am taking my mom's word for it. She probably has lied about things here and there in the past, but I have no reason to believe that she is not telling me the truth in this instance. Not only have I been going to church that long I have other accomplishments on my list:
I also went to Sunday School from the time I was a child until my first year in college.
I know more than one verse of A LOT of hymns.
When I was in the 3rd grade I knew all of the books of the bible in order and I got a pin for it.
In the 6th grade I was at a conference with the youth group and I lifted my hands for the first time in a worship service. It was tough, but I loved Jesus.
In the 8th grade I was allowed to be on a drama team at church when I really wasn't supposed to be on it until the 9th grade. We got to do a drama skit in front of 3,000+ people at the conference I mentioned previously one year.
Before I get to high school I would like to mention that I read the entire book of Revelation in the 6th grade and wrote my first sermon shortly thereafter.
In high school once I year I took a stand for Jesus and attended See You At The Pole and prayed for the "lost" students at my school and thanked God that He had kept me from the things that they wrapped their lives around.
I played basketball ball for school during high school and my nickname was "The Reverend" because I would lead the prayer before the games.
Also during basketball season one year I severely injured my foot, but before going to the doctor the next morning I walked around on it all evening to attend my FAITH group and witness. It turned out that I had a badly sprained heel (who knew you could do that), 2 torn ligaments in my foot, and a chipped bone also. It hurt, but I loved Jesus.
It was in high school that I learned how to play the guitar because I saw a need in my youth group and thought I could help a situation. I began to lead worship at the age of 17 still a shy kid who could barely speak to people he did not know.
3 days after I graduated high school I left to dedicate my summer to leading worship to thousands of teenagers all over the USA for summer missions camps. Technically, I should not have gotten that job until I had finished one year of college, but my youth pastor pulled some strings and the people saw a kid with great potential and a humble heart. I did that job for 4 summers.
Because of those camps I got gigs playing at church youth events on weekends and eventually also got some speaking opportunities. I have preached at contemporary and EXTREMELY traditional churches on Sunday mornings.
I mentioned I went to Sunday School through the first year of college. You might think that I decided to rebel after that, but not true... I was leading worship for a church when I was 19 and couldn't attend the Sunday School classes.
Most recently I worked for a church that runs around 12,000 and was asked by the head pastor to help with their contemporary service on Sunday mornings.
I also registered as a Republican because that's the only party that God had favor on.
..............................ok
I hope you haven't thrown up yet. I did about halfway through and came back to finish the rest. These are the reasons that I must take a break from church. My life has been consumed in this world that has kept me from the reality in which everyone else has lived. I have "taken stands" and "been set apart" so many times that I have never really known what it is like to relate to the people that I work with or the people that I randomly have a conversation with at the gas station or wherever.
I felt "called to the ministry" in high school, but I never knew what that meant because I wondered aren't we all called to ministry? Do we not all have a duty to love people and interact with them in the same ways that Jesus did? What I have never thought that "ministry" was supposed to be was for me to be so wrapped up in the church lifestyle as we know it that I have no idea how to have normal, honest, and important conversations with people that aren't familiar with church vocabulary.
I do still feel that my call to ministry is a tad different however, I just haven't figured out exactly what it means.
First Orlando had to make a bunch of budget cut backs due to the economic crisis in our country. A good friend of mine who's wedding I was recently in just lost his full time job at the church. Services that I was involved in were all canceled and so here I am.
Please understand that I am not bitter at any church or any pastor or anyone. But for the reasons I mentioned earlier that made myself sick, I must take a break. Like I said, I have been going since I was in the womb. Please don't pray for my spiritual state (well you can, but just don't think I'm taking a break from church because I don't like Jesus as much). I am not taking a break from God, don't get it wrong. I am not taking a break from tithing. I am not taking a break from seeking Jesus in the things that happen around me every day.
I am taking a break from church so that when I return I will want to attend and not be obligated to do so. I want to go to church not because I will get paid for doing music. I want church to be something that I look forward to and not something that on Saturday night I say, "I wish tomorrow wasn't Sunday." I want to go to church and want to invest in the ministry for real.
I want to go to church and not judge everyone around me. I want to go to church and not think that I am better than most of the people there.
Forgive the long post. If you have made it this far I hope that this had made a bit of sense and you understand my heart. I listed those "accomplishments" not to mock them, but to show you how much of my life has been wrapped up in this church world and so that you can say, "yeah....he deserves some time off."
I still love Jesus.
I still love the church.
I just need to focus more on one than the other.
Ok, not really, but I was taught you needed an opening line that would spark interest and draw the reader in to continue to read.
You might not want to read, but if you have gotten this far you probably will and therefore I must continue this post. *having nothing to do with this i am currently watching Survivor Man and he is in 44 degree weather in the dark and starving. He just said, "I didn't sign up for this." But I think he did.*
Anyways, back to my original sentence. I am taking a break from church for a while. Please don't get me wrong.... this is NOT a "The church is so messed up and has ruined my brain and I hate it" kind of thing. This also is NOT "People at church piss me off and judge me and I am sick of it" sort of post either.
This IS what this is:
I have been attending church since I was a fetus. I can't remember that far back, but I am taking my mom's word for it. She probably has lied about things here and there in the past, but I have no reason to believe that she is not telling me the truth in this instance. Not only have I been going to church that long I have other accomplishments on my list:
I also went to Sunday School from the time I was a child until my first year in college.
I know more than one verse of A LOT of hymns.
When I was in the 3rd grade I knew all of the books of the bible in order and I got a pin for it.
In the 6th grade I was at a conference with the youth group and I lifted my hands for the first time in a worship service. It was tough, but I loved Jesus.
In the 8th grade I was allowed to be on a drama team at church when I really wasn't supposed to be on it until the 9th grade. We got to do a drama skit in front of 3,000+ people at the conference I mentioned previously one year.
Before I get to high school I would like to mention that I read the entire book of Revelation in the 6th grade and wrote my first sermon shortly thereafter.
In high school once I year I took a stand for Jesus and attended See You At The Pole and prayed for the "lost" students at my school and thanked God that He had kept me from the things that they wrapped their lives around.
I played basketball ball for school during high school and my nickname was "The Reverend" because I would lead the prayer before the games.
Also during basketball season one year I severely injured my foot, but before going to the doctor the next morning I walked around on it all evening to attend my FAITH group and witness. It turned out that I had a badly sprained heel (who knew you could do that), 2 torn ligaments in my foot, and a chipped bone also. It hurt, but I loved Jesus.
It was in high school that I learned how to play the guitar because I saw a need in my youth group and thought I could help a situation. I began to lead worship at the age of 17 still a shy kid who could barely speak to people he did not know.
3 days after I graduated high school I left to dedicate my summer to leading worship to thousands of teenagers all over the USA for summer missions camps. Technically, I should not have gotten that job until I had finished one year of college, but my youth pastor pulled some strings and the people saw a kid with great potential and a humble heart. I did that job for 4 summers.
Because of those camps I got gigs playing at church youth events on weekends and eventually also got some speaking opportunities. I have preached at contemporary and EXTREMELY traditional churches on Sunday mornings.
I mentioned I went to Sunday School through the first year of college. You might think that I decided to rebel after that, but not true... I was leading worship for a church when I was 19 and couldn't attend the Sunday School classes.
Most recently I worked for a church that runs around 12,000 and was asked by the head pastor to help with their contemporary service on Sunday mornings.
I also registered as a Republican because that's the only party that God had favor on.
..............................ok
I hope you haven't thrown up yet. I did about halfway through and came back to finish the rest. These are the reasons that I must take a break from church. My life has been consumed in this world that has kept me from the reality in which everyone else has lived. I have "taken stands" and "been set apart" so many times that I have never really known what it is like to relate to the people that I work with or the people that I randomly have a conversation with at the gas station or wherever.
I felt "called to the ministry" in high school, but I never knew what that meant because I wondered aren't we all called to ministry? Do we not all have a duty to love people and interact with them in the same ways that Jesus did? What I have never thought that "ministry" was supposed to be was for me to be so wrapped up in the church lifestyle as we know it that I have no idea how to have normal, honest, and important conversations with people that aren't familiar with church vocabulary.
I do still feel that my call to ministry is a tad different however, I just haven't figured out exactly what it means.
First Orlando had to make a bunch of budget cut backs due to the economic crisis in our country. A good friend of mine who's wedding I was recently in just lost his full time job at the church. Services that I was involved in were all canceled and so here I am.
Please understand that I am not bitter at any church or any pastor or anyone. But for the reasons I mentioned earlier that made myself sick, I must take a break. Like I said, I have been going since I was in the womb. Please don't pray for my spiritual state (well you can, but just don't think I'm taking a break from church because I don't like Jesus as much). I am not taking a break from God, don't get it wrong. I am not taking a break from tithing. I am not taking a break from seeking Jesus in the things that happen around me every day.
I am taking a break from church so that when I return I will want to attend and not be obligated to do so. I want to go to church not because I will get paid for doing music. I want church to be something that I look forward to and not something that on Saturday night I say, "I wish tomorrow wasn't Sunday." I want to go to church and want to invest in the ministry for real.
I want to go to church and not judge everyone around me. I want to go to church and not think that I am better than most of the people there.
Forgive the long post. If you have made it this far I hope that this had made a bit of sense and you understand my heart. I listed those "accomplishments" not to mock them, but to show you how much of my life has been wrapped up in this church world and so that you can say, "yeah....he deserves some time off."
I still love Jesus.
I still love the church.
I just need to focus more on one than the other.
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