My Story

I grew up in in church my entire life. My mom and dad were divorced at some point while my mom was pregnant with me. Somehow they have always had a descent relationship as long as I can remember. When I was 1 year old my mom remarried and I lived with them growing up and saw my dad every other weekend. I have always had a great relationship with my dad and also my stepdad helped raise me so it was kind of like having 2 dads. My dad also remarried when I was 4 and I have two siblings w/ them that I consider to be just like real sister and brother.

When I was a sophomore in high school my mom and stepdad split up after being married for 15 years. I was always a very shy and quiet kid and kind of internalized how I dealt with everything. My mom and stepdad were always extremely involved in church and taught high school sunday school together and all of that stuff. I was kind of pissed at God because I felt like we did everything Christian we were supposed to and this still happened to us. But we all still kept going to church as if nothing was really wrong.

My mom and I lived together in an apartment for a couple of years as I ended high school. I switched to University HS middle of my junior year for a lot of reasons, but mainly for some type of change. Around my junior year I began to teach myself how to play the guitar. At our youth group worship was being led by these silly music tracks and our awkward youth pastor and I felt like I was supposed to help the situation.

All I really did was sit around and learn worship songs on the guitar and when I was 17 I started leading worship at my youth group having no real idea what I was doing. Aaron played with me then too.

I went on a mission trip called World Changers after my junior year and in the midst of still not liking Jesus very much I felt some type of call to ministry. I am still not sure exactly what that entails because I think all of us are called into ministry as Christians, but for some reason I feel like I am gifted with certain things that maybe makes it possible for me to be in leadership of some sort. And remember I was so shy and could barely talk to anybody.

I believe that God put the guitar in my hands to break out of that shell and be able to communicate with people and to be able to better love people. After my senior year of high school I was able to work in the summers for the World Changers camp as worship leader and last summer I was able to speak at a couple of the camps. I don't say that to try to impress people, but if you only knew how shy I was and how much I didn't really trust in Jesus when I felt a call to do something in ministry...it blows my mind still.

My mom remarried when I was away at the missions camp my first summer after graduating. When I came back I moved in w/ my grandma for a while. Right at the time that I had decided I was going to stop worrying about dating people because it seemed like nobody would fit my complex life and personality...I met Brittany a little over 3 years ago. I believe that Brittany is the greatest person that I have ever met and I am blessed to be able to know her so well. I would recommend that everyone get to know her because they will be tremendously blessed by someone who loves people very well and is a true friend. This past summer we both got to intern at a church up in Maryland all summer and it was beautiful. At the end of the summer on August 8th I proposed to her and we left Maryland a few days later to come back and celebrate with our family here.

On August 15th we found out that my mom had a mass in her body the size of a tennis ball. A rare type of cancer of the adrenal gland that nobody knows much about, but the statistics aren't good. Doctors here wouldn't do the surgery b/c they thought it too dangerous. On September 12th my mom had surgery in Arizona by a small group of doctors who studied the cancer. The tumor had worked its way through many of her veins and somehow by a miracle they were able to get all of the tumor out that day.

She has been on chemo since then pretty hard core. I was speaking at a church back in December and my mom found out that it looked like there was a spot on her liver and was pretty shaken up. They did an ultrasound that week and told her that it turned out to be nothing and to have a good holiday season.

Now the catscan has revealed the spot was something and it has tripled in size since Dec. There are also spots on her lungs and a couple of other places. She cannot get the treatment here but will have to choose from either TX, AZ, or SC and travel there for a week at a time to get the specific chemo treatments. The news is not good.

Her main concern is not ruining the wedding, although that obviously is the last of worries right now. Her husband is not taking it well and is so scared and I don't think he knows how to deal with it. My mom has consistently been positive through this and has shown me the face of Jesus.

I am supposed to be the strong one through all of this for my mom. I will always remember being in the doctors office when they told her she had cancer and it was very serious in a very late stage. I remember the numbness waiting in the hospital for the doctors to tell us if they were able to get all of the tumor. I remember my mom hugging me and crying telling me how scared she is. I know what its like to lead in worship and barely be able to get out the words, "And right now in the good times and bad you are on your throne...you are God alone."

I write this more for myself than anything. I write this so that others can get maybe a more honest glimpse into my life. I don't write this for anyone to feel sorry for me, but rather asking you to pray for my mom. She is a sweet lady and through all of this has shown her co-workers, her friends, strangers, and her family a glimpse of the heart and love of Jesus.

Writing helps me deal with things. If you are reading this please understand with as much sincerity as I can offer, I'm just trying to be real and honest. I don't ever want people to think anything better of me because God has allowed me to stand in front of people and lead worship or teach what the bible says.

Psalms 119:129 "Your testimonies are wonderful; Therefore my soul keeps them."

I look back and at the moments when I am barely able to hold on...His grip has never weakened.

First Reset

Just to let everybody know in case they were interested:

1. The people I play music with @ Reset are absolutely incredible.

2. On Wednesday I am moving into the apartment that my future wife and I will be living in.

3. I have grown to hate animals in the house...which is surprising to myself because I grew up with a dog that I loved.

4. Now that I have slept on a feather pillow the last couple of years everything else hurts my neck

Reset

Reset will be starting @ FBC Orlando Feb. 24th.

If you want more info just look up www.resetorlando.com

Hope to see you there.

Things I Will Miss

So last Sunday was my last day working for my former church. I don't like the word former...it seems negative. And the word "old" sounds old. How about this *by the way I did start this blog with the word "so" I just forgot the .......... that ran through my mind before I kept typing*

Last Sunday was my last day on staff at Eastpoint Fellowship.
(That sounds good)

I thought about it and I have been involved working and getting paid by a church or some religious organization consistently for the last 6 years almost. I think that what most people that haven't worked at a church don't understand as much as those that have is that it is still a job. You still have your good days and your bad...your ups and downs. There are times when you love your job and think there is nothing you would rather do and wish you could do it forever and a day. And then there are times when you hate your job and you hate the people you have to deal with and the stupid hoops you have to jump through. Every pastor ever has felt these emotions if they have been at a place for at least 1 year or maybe even 6 months. Nobody really talks about it though because that might look like we don't love well or our hearts aren't big enough or whatever.

Just like I cannot read into your life and your job and your growth as a person...you will never understand what it was like for me to work at Eastpoint. In a great and positive way I was stretched to my limits and forced to grow up and take on responsibility that I had not seen before and that I was not always sure that I could handle.

In the same way that you know in your heart that it is time to move to another company or to alter how you interact with certain people or how to improve on your relationships and it is just a matter of doing it...I knew that it was my time to leave Eastpoint. And there is nothing negative about it. I believe that I left Eastpoint at the time when the church was the strongest and on the verge of something bigger than anybody on staff could truly comprehend. The excitement and love and energy of a group of people is now at it's highest in the community of Eastpoint.

That isn't when you are supposed to leave though right?

I believe in our hearts God whispers truth in the clearest voice even when it doesn't really make a lot of sense or it doesn't look like the best career move or whatever.

But we know what we are supposed to do.

Now to the topic at hand. There are some things that I won't miss, but today it hit me some of the things I will miss.

I will miss the old people. From my beginning as a 19 year old leading worship there the people over the age of around 55 were the most encouraging and loving and supporting of me on a consistent basis. Before I started I feared that we would have nothing in common...musically or socially. But I found the gentleness and patience of the Father in their eyes and their hearts as week after week they have hugged me and given me words of wisdom and encouragement. Sometimes they smell funny. On occasion I thought that I had done something that had really touched their hearts and I saw them tearing up as they talked to me...only to realize later that it might be glaucoma."

"Why are you crying mam?"

"Whaat?

"Are you ok...why are you crying?"

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

"Never mind...thats ooze. See you next week."

Funny, but I will really miss them. I have grown to love them dearly.

I will miss people like Michael Barton. I still have memories as a little kid seeing his basketball card collection and talking about how amazing Jordan was. He would come up to me pretty much every week after service and chit chat for a little. No matter if we talked Gators or how my mom was doing I felt so comfortable and knew he was supportive of me. One time him and a man named Antonio knew that I wanted to know this wall out on stage that was taking up wasted room and they did took it upon themselves to do it and do a great job. They weren't looking for recognition. They just wanted to help out. That meant more to me than anybody can ever know.

I will miss people like Charlie Fish. He is seriously one of the nicest guys and most willing to help I have ever met. He does so much for the church that nobody knows about and he does it so well. Such a blessing to the staff and he probably doesn't realize it.

I'll miss hanging out with the little kids in the nursery during the 2nd service and holding the babies.

I'll miss waking up at 6:30am every sunday with a great attitude and having to warm my voice up from the moment I get out of bed to my blinding drive east so I can hit the notes on "Famous One". Just kidding. I'll never miss that.

This is way too long. But it is starting to sink in a little bit. I love the people at Eastpoint and will miss being a part of that church...but I am excited about joining Jesus' work in another section of orlando for a more focused age group.