Sunday, November 25, 2007
:(
I am really sad that football season is coming to a close. It really is my favorite time of the year.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Still Taken Back
I stood in line on my lunch break at the Chick-Fil-A at the mall wearing my t-shirt that says, "Cancer Sucks". I kind of wish that I could wear it every day because I always get responses from people. Even the meanest looking people in the world will break the ice around their chin and smile towards me when passing.
The young lady behind the counter smiled when it was my turn to order and her eyes centered on my shirt and she looked up with a matter of fact smile and said, "It really does suck!"
"Yes it does." I smiled back... slightly more focused on how long had my combo #1 been sitting under the heat lamp than starting a conversation about cancer with a stranger.
"Where did you get that shirt?"
Typical response to try and let the person know without making it sound like I want them to feel sorry for me..."From the hospital where my mom had surgery." This time I made sure go give a gentle smile and look her in the eye. This was not so much me being nice, but rather to make her aware that I was doing fine. And before she could respond I added that I would like a number 1 with a diet coke. And I said please at the end of it. Very nice tone too I might add.
"How is your mom doing now," asked another person in line next to me. This lady was probably in her late 50's and seemed nice and genuine. At this point I realized I would have to engage myself in actually communicating with another human being and I told her that my mom was doing pretty good and that the surgery went very well (The girl behind the counter was holding my bag of food and listening to me...I was sooooooooo hungry).
The lady next to me then began to break my heart as she told me her story. She had lost her mother and her husband to cancer. Her 29 year old daughter had been fighting cancer for 3 years and cancer was winning the battle. Tears filled her eyes as she told me they just found out that it had spread to her daughter's brain, liver, kidneys, and spine. Her daughter had about 2 months to live.
When you kind of understand a person you know what kind of responses they DO NOT want to hear. They don't want to hear that it will all be ok. I simply asked what her daughter's name was and I asked what her name was. I said, "I'll tell you what Sandy. This week I will make sure to pray for you and Maria (her daughter)."
Sandy looked up at me and began to cry and was trying to apologize. Of all the things I would have wanted to happen the last one on the list did...
I began to cry.
And then we hugged as though we were family and we cried together.
WTF?
Something had happened in such a short time and the weight of everything knocked us into each other's embrace and we spoke to each other with only tears.
It wasn't loud and we didn't drag it out. And NO we did not kiss at the end. But it was so insane and exactly what I needed at that moment in the middle of the line at Chick-Fil-A in the freaking mall.
I turned back to get my bag of food and the girl behind the counter had tears in her eyes and she said, "thank you" in a very heartfelt way as if I had done something really meaningful. She handed me the bag and in a simple statement said that her brother had cancer and good luck to me and my family.
I walked away not feeling embarrassed in any way. That happened a week ago and I still think its rather odd that I stood in the public and hugged and cried with a late 50 year old woman whom I had met 45 seconds prior. I find it even more odd that I don't really care and I sat down to eat my chicken sandwich and somehow felt relieved.
I have no real comment on why it happened or what exactly it meant to me or why it matters at all.
I just needed to share a true story that I can hardly still believe.
The young lady behind the counter smiled when it was my turn to order and her eyes centered on my shirt and she looked up with a matter of fact smile and said, "It really does suck!"
"Yes it does." I smiled back... slightly more focused on how long had my combo #1 been sitting under the heat lamp than starting a conversation about cancer with a stranger.
"Where did you get that shirt?"
Typical response to try and let the person know without making it sound like I want them to feel sorry for me..."From the hospital where my mom had surgery." This time I made sure go give a gentle smile and look her in the eye. This was not so much me being nice, but rather to make her aware that I was doing fine. And before she could respond I added that I would like a number 1 with a diet coke. And I said please at the end of it. Very nice tone too I might add.
"How is your mom doing now," asked another person in line next to me. This lady was probably in her late 50's and seemed nice and genuine. At this point I realized I would have to engage myself in actually communicating with another human being and I told her that my mom was doing pretty good and that the surgery went very well (The girl behind the counter was holding my bag of food and listening to me...I was sooooooooo hungry).
The lady next to me then began to break my heart as she told me her story. She had lost her mother and her husband to cancer. Her 29 year old daughter had been fighting cancer for 3 years and cancer was winning the battle. Tears filled her eyes as she told me they just found out that it had spread to her daughter's brain, liver, kidneys, and spine. Her daughter had about 2 months to live.
When you kind of understand a person you know what kind of responses they DO NOT want to hear. They don't want to hear that it will all be ok. I simply asked what her daughter's name was and I asked what her name was. I said, "I'll tell you what Sandy. This week I will make sure to pray for you and Maria (her daughter)."
Sandy looked up at me and began to cry and was trying to apologize. Of all the things I would have wanted to happen the last one on the list did...
I began to cry.
And then we hugged as though we were family and we cried together.
WTF?
Something had happened in such a short time and the weight of everything knocked us into each other's embrace and we spoke to each other with only tears.
It wasn't loud and we didn't drag it out. And NO we did not kiss at the end. But it was so insane and exactly what I needed at that moment in the middle of the line at Chick-Fil-A in the freaking mall.
I turned back to get my bag of food and the girl behind the counter had tears in her eyes and she said, "thank you" in a very heartfelt way as if I had done something really meaningful. She handed me the bag and in a simple statement said that her brother had cancer and good luck to me and my family.
I walked away not feeling embarrassed in any way. That happened a week ago and I still think its rather odd that I stood in the public and hugged and cried with a late 50 year old woman whom I had met 45 seconds prior. I find it even more odd that I don't really care and I sat down to eat my chicken sandwich and somehow felt relieved.
I have no real comment on why it happened or what exactly it meant to me or why it matters at all.
I just needed to share a true story that I can hardly still believe.
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