The title of my blog is, "Understanding That I Don't Know It All". There are things, however, that I do know a lot more about than most people. I know A LOT about how to dominate in sports video games. I know a lot about how to fix your wireless router so that your internet is accessible throughout your house. I know the right way to treat a toll-booth worker. I even know how to make really really good boiled peanuts.
Then there are the things that I know quite a bit about that few people will ever know anything about at all. They are my secrets. They are the things that have kept me from sleeping. They are the things that if you knew about me you probably wouldn't like me as much. You might not like me anyways, but if you think you know me very well...I have things that are so hidden in my heart that even those close to me would never understand...even I don't understand.
Cancer is terrible. Struggling through cancer with someone you love is beautiful. Cancer in my mom has been absolutely exhausting. Emotionally there is nothing to quite pinpoint exactly what you are feeling. Yet through the wreckage love has overshadowed everything else. I love my mom and am able to freely show it now more than I ever have before. Love not only covers a multitude of sins, but also fear. My mom and I have been more focused on loving each other than being afraid. Believe me, we have been very scared...but I can honestly say that we have loved a lot more than we have been sitting around worrying about what is next.
Now more than ever my own heart has validated what my mind has been telling me lately, that I am supposed to love somebody where they are. I cannot love somebody based upon their actions or what I hope they turn out to be like, for that is their choice and not mine. My only chance of being close is to completely and without hesitation love the people in my life well. The only thing that gets in the way of that is the fact that I allow my expectations of people to determine how much I care about them and how much effort I am willing to put into loving them. The reality is that I have disappointed everybody at some time in my life that is close to me.
What would the world look like if we chose to love well?
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"Now more than ever my own heart has validated what my mind has been telling me lately, that I am supposed to love somebody where they are."
I think this is one of the hardest things to do...ever. I also think that anyone who makes it seem like "well that's just what we do because Jesus tells us to" is demeaning the act of sacrifice that it is to love someone where they're at instead of where we wish they were. It's an intentional choice, made deliberately every day.
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